Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Mountain Dew, Charades and Lots and Lots of Farting

Sorry for the delay in writing to you my dear bloggy fans...or mum as i should say. I have been pretty flipping knackered and am geting a serious cold whilst in Edinburgh. I am drinking a lemsip as i type and just the record its DISGUSTING.
So i wonder if your wondering about my title. Let me talk you through the first thing on the list. Mountain Dew. The other day we were wandering around Edinburgh when Giselle suddenly said " Have you noticed how theres lots of green bottles everywhere" and as i looked around i sure as sure did see lots and lots of green bottles-to be honest it was quite unnerving. Literally EVERYBODY had these green bottles and we wondered where they were coming from. I should add that we were on our way to a show at the time, BARE it was called and a fabulous piece of drama, best thing iv seen at the Fringe yet, i highly recommend it!
But back to the story we were on our way there and THEN WE SAW IT. They were giving out free bottles of luminous green mountain dew energy drink as if we were collecting our food rations in the middle east. Without hesitation me and Giselle took one look at each other and sprinted across the road at full pelt. It was very spontaneous and very exciting! As we were running across the road Jodie and Roisin shouted (quite dramatically i shall add) to grab them a drink too. As we got to the tank full of bottles we were met with a flustered lady handing out bottles as fast as she could, she thrust a bottle into each of our hands and (we were rushing to get to the show too) we asked "can we have another two for our friends?" to which she replied, "its only supposed to be one each". Me and Giselle looked at eachother in desparation-we knew we couldnt go back to the girls empty handed, they were just as thirsty as we were and were expecting the sugary goodness of mountain dew. The pressure was on, what were we to do? Everybody was bustling around us waiting for their turn to taste the god like juice and we had to act fast. "PLEASE" Giselle shouted in the womans face and sure enough another two bottles were thrust into our hands. Excellent!

The drink was actually rank and none of us drank them, but we were happy with the result and we finally knew why everybody had those green bottles.

Today we went into the Broadway Bar to eat out lunch and whilst sitting their Llody decided we should play charades. My my what fun. Conclusion-Llody is a moron! He also can't keep quiet whilst playing and likes to tell you how many words the film, book, or musical is. Well we laughed so hard when he tried to

Saturday, 21 August 2010

HIGH WINDS WRECK AWNING...and so many lives

So i was awoken last night by a high screeching noise...after trying to ignore this for at least 45 mins i realised that giselle and roisin were outside talking to somebody which brought to my attention that something must be wrong. I got up to find that the awning that is attached to our campervan...was no longer attached. Some random man in a yellow jacket was helping, well i say helping he didnt do much but tell us that management wouldnt be around until 7.30am...yes this was all at about 5 in the morning. I didnt do much either really, i was too cold and grumpy an this time in the morning so i stayed in bed for a bit an then jumped in Llodys bed would also continued to stay in the warm. We then got a couple more hours in before getting up at around 10am. Still no awning and stil no one with the means to put it back to its primary erection...i dont know if this makes sense but i wanted to say erection because i am so god darn witty.
luckily however giselle had brought her tent so this stands in the way of the awning and its doing a pretty god job. I then made fried eggs for everyone (because poached eggs were way too stressful with the water not boiling). I do not know how i am coping in these conditions...but i am my dear fans...i am.

Yesterday was a good day because gary and his family plus my mum were in Edinburgh so we went for a wander and spent some time together :D

Performance went pretty well to say we didnt have a great audience so hoping with all this bad luck of awning breakage we shall have a good night far we have two people
anyways ciao for now goodbyeeee xx

Thursday, 19 August 2010

"We attract the scum"

Well hello there, sorry i havent been around for a while ive been a very busy girl and just "havent had the time"...thats a quote from the script by the way...i am living and breathing Route 52! So since the last time we spoke we have performed twice. Yesterdays audience was a bit poor, we had 8 people in the audience which took up the majority of Chris Baileys (fellow cast member) family. But they laughed lots so that was fine. The night before we had a good audience of about 20 odd, however we (me and jodie) feel they were prefering A Perfect Honeymoon as they laughed every 3.5 seconds and only every 6 seconds for Route 52. We feel this is because our audience were slightly upmarkets Edweenians and didnt like our language use of a term used for "mother loving". Whilst A Perfect Honeymoon was going on me and Jodie decided to flash eachother and Jodie made the comment that "we attract the scum"-we certainly do!

The mothers coming tonight, as is our bessies, scott, bethan and emma. They're very scummy so they shall, infact, laugh lots.
We have just had our first review...i shall link it below. I shall warn isnt a good one...dickhead

For a start...and im not making excuses here, he came on the first night. And by the way what does dutiful mean? and we are not polite, we swear for christ sake! And how bloody dare he say A Perfect Honeymoon is poorly scripted!!! Its bloody hilarious, i bet hes a shite playwright, and i bet he has no friends. Just spends his nights alone with a glass of red listening to some classical and thinking about the last time he laughed. He obviouslt FAILED geography as he blatently knows nothing of our beautiful cornish countryside...bloody bodwin mooore, its BODMIN YOU GAY.
And the fact that it says it is devoid of any intelligence...wel yes, your right. Its not meant to be intellectual. its meant to be observational and if he caught the bus on a daily basis he would see the characters that we play. I feel he should get his facts right before he goes actual fact i really dont mind that much...and thats enough of that.

We went out last night for a little drinkypoo, it was quite lovely and had 2 glasses of wine as a little night cap, the only annoying thing is having to get a taxi at a tenner a pop cos the last bus leaves at 11.45.

Heading into town in a min, looks to be a nice day and my mummy is coming today yeeeey...just for all those millions of fans that dont know me personallly, i do not call her mummy...i call her mum

Right i am offskies, tooooodles xx

Monday, 16 August 2010

"i can't help myself when im in a state of Euphoria"

So yesterday we awoke quite early to get into town, nerves and lots of farting in tow.We'd decided to have a day of flyering to publicise and get people in.
Yesterday was a lovely sunny day and not a day to wear UGG BOOTS! my feet were pretty much melted...but i charged on with my honeybus t-shirt and chatted ro randoms to get some tickets sold. It was quite fun actually, but a bit weird to get started for knowing what to say and suchforth. Good job emily towle is with us, baileys gf...a.k.a BIG BOOBS. I think she got a few numbers as well as selling lots of tickets...RESULT.
so the day kept drawing nearer and nearer and we had to keep visited the toilet more and more. BTW never go in CVenues toilet when your dying for a loo roll.
we stopped for a spot of lunch outside jodies new favourite place "chocolate soup" and had a bit of food to calm the nerves, omg im nervous now re-living the moment...thats really sad isnt it?

so after a full day flyering we had to the CVenues bar to go through a few things and to chill before the big night, and who walks in...but the "Young Dads"- the performers we saw the night before and LLoyds new stalkees....seriously...hes OBSESSED.

Reasons why i think Lloyd (Llody) is totally obsessed
1) he talks about them at least every ten minutes
2) everytime we walk past their venue at anytime of day he asks "shall we go and see if their in"
3) he makes up little stories that he hopes will happen in the future with the young dads
4) when they randomly walked in the same bar yesterday he face lit up and he behaved like a naughty school girl
5) he plays their CD...yes their CD that he bought...every morning in the campervan and recites lyrics

at this moment in time while i am typing he is making a cup of tea next to me and he jus sang "this is the part where we dance" another lyric from the CD....seriously i think that boy needs therapy!

so back to us, the performance went really well apart from a line i cocked up, i have no idea why, i know the lines like the back of my hand and i said something about eyeballs...we laughed ALOT about it on the way home. well at least i can laugh about it thats what i will say. And why oh why did we include me eating a donut....i hate donuts and i have to get through one a day now for 15 days...why couldnt i have said lasagne or something i adore...

something very exciting did happen tho as we looked at our tickets att he end of the performance and thirty people were in the audience (an average fringe audience is 3) and after looking at the break down we saw that 2 press people had come to see it. Including a man from the scotman newspaper! something that "never happens apparently" so whoop for us, i have no idea how we managed that. Probably because of our amazin publicist (yes i did just say that and now i am appearing very pretentious) helen wade or maybe emily just got her boobs out for him...who knows but either way...YEY. Now we are jus hoping that he decides to write about us and writes something good!!! 5 Stars please.

Anyways after that joyful evening we came back to our abode and slept, like we'd never slept before. And now we have awoken from our slumber and are making tracks to get just do it all again....for 15days

better go get ready now anyways, a big thank you for all the support its lovely to hear and a big boost :D

keep updated :D GOOD DAY xx

Saturday, 14 August 2010

"llody goes...into the studio"

So after an eventful day yesterday i can safely say that today has been a million times more enjoyable. We visited the Fringe Central today and met up with media to get some press coming and to get reviewed hopefully. We had a pretty lazy morning after not getting in util 5 clock yesterday and Giselle our head technican made us lovely scrambled eggs on toast...delish.

Each day we make our flasks , load our rucksacks and off we go...its quite a sight. However i feel like a total slob all of the time so im avoiding mirrors at the moment. My skin has also decided to hate me so a nice outbreak and decided to spread itself across my face. I feel this is stress-related. OPENING NIGHT TOMORROW, actual VOM. Im not thinking about it, its the only way i can get through the day.

Went to see a show today called "the young dads" who were very funny. They sang funny songs and danced and it was very enjoyable. Met them afterwards and encouraged them to see our show, think we're going for drinks with them soon, Jodies (cake chomper)  going to try and pull one of them. Well if she thinks shes bringing one back to this palace of a caravan shes got another thing coming...i need my beauty sleep and i cant be having smelly, sex hungry men around. Shes quite persuasive when she wants to be that one, but she can do it alfresco style for all i care.

Made some pasta for tea and its filled a hole quite nicely, can keep me off the rota for a while.

Had so many giggles today my stomach actually hurts, i feel llody anderson is the reason for this...tonight we have been in stiches and we all pretty much cried cos we were laughin that much...i enjoyed this somewhat and hope for this in the fringe future

its hard to remember all that happens in a day and i realise this is not really sounding eventful...i feel i need a notebook so when things happen i can jot down and fill you in later...i actually love you that much. whole 5 fans...which even includes myself...


"Don't shit yourself just yet"

So i just wrote a while fecking blog and my internet decided to break, seriously i feel i have shat on gods kids and this is how he's re-paying me...

Last night was our tech rehearsal and as you can probably tel from my mood it went bloody swimmingly...firstly our fat suit went missing, a prime piece of costume to start the show and yes it went missing. A HUGE, PILLOW LIKE, MASSIVE, PINK, VERY LARGE FAT SUIT went ask me how? to this i reply "i have no frigging clue my friend" However dont fret you good people, it was in the campervan toilet...ah thank the lord...why you ask? I HAVE NO FRIGGIN CLUE. breathe....but no, all is good the fat suit is found and we can go on living again.

Really enjoying being in Edinburgh tho (im trying to be reasonable again now) it is a lovely city and very scenic. Im looking forward to seeing some shows and apart from the the first day the rain has kept at bay. JOY.

Right we're going to leave now so i better get off here and start enjoying this bloody thing they call the Fringe. GOOD DAY

Sunday, 8 August 2010


so i got a call this morning off my brother, turns out iv had the honour of being an auntie again :D Just to fill you all in im already the proud auntie of Miss Amelia Evelyn Marshall and she is very cool indeedy.

changed fonts as i feel this fits my mood...

so anyways, i have a new sprog in the family so thats quite nice, i was sent a picture through as i dont live in sheffield like the rest of my family, im in carlisle...great. How nice it will be in 6 months when i can say i live in london. But yes, so i havent yet met the new arrival but as said before i did get a picture through...she is a tad ugly however. i shall put the picture on so you can see what i mean. I hope you dont think im being mean here, i think all babies are ugly as a matter of fact, but hopefully she wont follow in my ugly ginger footsteps and will grow into quite an attactive being. I hope she turns ginger tho, just so i can help her through the pain and set her on the right track (my job i feel being the aunt and all). but no, she has a head of dark hair...yes thats right DARK! hoping this is something she will grow out off, as is the uglyness.

Jonathan dear brother-if you are reading this, as im sure you probably are since you think i am so side splittingly funny....i do not actually think your baby is ugly. I cant wait to meet her, but i do hope shes ginger and i will be majorly disappointed if she is not.

anyway thats all for today, just thought id share my happy news


Saturday, 7 August 2010


Right, so i work at Little Frankies Restaurant, its an italian, american kinda place with lots of burgers, pizzas and other cellulite ridden foods. so the other day i was working, and i will add that i was tired but i find when tired my words gets muddled, and i end up making a bit of a tit out of myself. So the other day i got asked some question or other like "can i have another coke" or "could i have the bill" and my brain thought two answers, firstly "of course" and secondly "sure". I normally like to mix it up a bit between customers as it keeps it a bit fresh for me and not so monotonous. HOWEVER, the other day my brain sort of slowed down and in the 1.5 second i had to answer as a normal person would answer this question i my brain gave both of these replies, resulting in my mouth saying "Of Sure"....i didnt correct myself, or even laugh it off....i merely pretended this was a perfectly normal reply and proceeded in getting the customer exactly what they wanted :D GOOD DAY!

Thursday, 5 August 2010


sorry for the incorrect use of the word grammar...this only highlights my point GOOD DAY

ps i hate petit filou bear

The Weird Bruise

Well hello fellow bloggers and blogees, i dont have much to say today but i what i will say is this...i have the most mysterious bruise in the most weirdest spot to get a forearm, i dont think i have ever had a bruise there before and how i recieved this is unbeknown to be. but it is there, and its a sort of yellowy colour and not too attractive.

I would like to take the time to apologise about the spellings or grammer or general idiocy of my scrawl, unlike my chum the cake chompers blog who's literacy skills are of excellence. She actually gets angry when individuals do not use grammer correctly or write the right their/there...quite frankly i dont give a toss, so you can all flip off and enjoy my badly wrote there. To add, i may be writing these tired after a long hard day at the office and making sure they are correctly written will just add to my tiredness and frustrate me when i could be doing some good decent stalking on facebook.

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

UPCOMING FRINGE- Johns arrival

Roisin and Bailey arrived yesterday :D they are to stay at the house of fun (minus the smelly chavs). Im going to go off on a tangent here because writing about the chavs made me think of why im annoyed. we told them that it is FORBIDDEN to smoke in the house and yet they continue, so when  i moved we told them that i have severe asthma and that a sniff of smoke may set off an asthma i dont have asthma yet this is not the point. As i am sat in Jodies bed writing this, watching pochahontas and eating a strawberry jelly i can SMELL IT. and they dont know that i dont have severe asthma, so quite frankly they are putting my health on the line and im not sure im ok with that. so there we go, il have to febreze the hall later

so yes we have company at le flat and its lovely if not a little cramped, but its all in prepartion for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival which we are performing at-exciting isn't it? and tomorrow we are meeting Mr John Henderson who will be playing a role in one of our plays, hes a lovely man  and we're very excited to meet him.

im so very tired, i have had a hard day and  i want some sympathy...i am getting none. I have eaten for my tea a whole bag of turkey footballers because i couldnt be bothered to cook anything more special. For the record i am a pretty good cook, and when i am succesful and have a house of my own i will have a big kitchen to cook in...GOOD DAY